The Problem with Ghosts
by ravel queen
Summary: Atem keeps sabotaging Yuugi's sex life. He comes up with a solution.


Ryou looks up when he hears the door slam. A second later, Yuugi throws himself down on the couch, buries his face in one of the pillows and screams.

"Bad day?" he asks, trying to gauge if he should set his book aside immediately or if he has time to finish the page.

"Is murder still a crime if the person is technically already dead?" His voice is a bit muffled by the pillow, but still perfectly audible.

"What did Atem do?" Ryou sighs, regretfully putting his book aside.

Yuugi looks up from the pillow, "You know I love him, right? You _know_ I do."

"I love mine too." Ryou says patiently "I also know a little something about wanting to kill them anyway." He throws a look at Bakura's closed door and wonders if he's going to wander out of there at any point today and _do the dishes_ like he _promised._

"He driving me _crazy_ , Ryou, I'm going to strangle him, I really will." Which is when Ryou remembers what day it is today.

"So, date not go well then?" he asks with a smirk. He feels for Yuugi, but it's not like he doesn't have the exact same problem and well misery _does_ love company.

"Oh the date was going well, _extremely_ well, in fact," Yuugi growls, "until that _asshole_ figured out where we went and _crashed it_." He turns around on the sofa, and shouts in the direction of Bakura's door, "AND DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW WHOSE FAULT THIS IS!"

"See _me_ helping next time they have a relationship crisis." he grumbles, settling back down when only silence greets him.

"Which, realistically, is going to be any day now. They are due." Ryou says philosophically, "so you'll have your revenge soon enough."

"Revenge is not going to get me laid." Yuugi whines, sinking deeper into the couch.

"Wow, _that_ well, huh?" He raises an eyebrow. As far as he remembers, this had only been their second date. Normally Yuugi liked to wait a bit longer.

Yuugi flushes, "Well, not _yet_ , but it was definitely moving in that direction."

Well, that made more sense. "But then Atem showed up?"

Yuugi sighs, "And then Atem showed up. I guess, I'm happy that it was the 'potential suitor runs away, because Atem is scary'-option. Much less humiliating than when they take one look at him and decide that they'd rather have the upgraded version."

"I thought the one you hated the most was when Atem gives them the STD talk?" Ryou says, trying to lighten the mood. He doesn't like it when Yuugi gets too depressed about this

"Oh my god, why would you _remind_ me of this?!" he cries, but Ryou can see the humour creeping back in his eyes. Good.

"To make you remember that it could be worse." He judges the coast clear enough to join Yuugi on the sofa, squishing next to him and taking the pillow out of his hands, before he destroys it, tangling their hands.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." He finally says.

Yuugi sighs. "I know he means well. I know he just worries. And I _also_ know that someone who is intimidated or swayed by Atem just showing up isn't worth it anyway."

"But it still sucks." Ryou finishes for him.

"It still sucks." Yuugi agrees quietly.

Ryou sighs as well, looking down at their hands. He absolutely understands Yuugi's problem, he's honestly hasn't had a date for a year. Funny how Bakura's always so very buys, but date crashing always fits into his schedule.

"Those guys and girls are idiots, by the way." he says idly.

"Mhm?"

"The one's throwing themselves at Atem." he clarifies. "Clearly, _you_ are the hotter model."

Yuugi lets out a pleased chuckle, "Well, thank you very kindly then. I can only return the compliment."

"Huh, I'd almost forgotten about Genji." He wonders what happened to him. "Oh god, I really should have checked up on him, I'm afraid when I look now it'll turn out Bakura actually killed him for the offence."

Yuugi snorts, "He would, too."

"It's not like I don't appreciate how they love us," he continues, "but _man,_ I really wonder who I could bring to Atem who he'd consider _good enough for his aibou_." His Atem-impression really was getting scary good.

"What he hasn't told you?" Somehow Ryou can't believe that. From what he heard Bakura complain about, the man _lives_ for well-ordered list.

"Ha, of course he has, but I don't know where he gets the idea that I'm going to listen to _him,_ considering his romantic choices. _"_ Ryou snorts, but makes encouraging _go on_ motions, because if nothing else, this is going to be entertaining

"Let's see if I remember. Well-mannered, kind, good-looking, well educated, funny, gentle, but with a backbone. Someone who can relate to my experiences and such can understand our relationship." Yuugi rolls his eyes. "I don't know where he expects me to find someone who can relate to _having a spirit in his brain_."

"Ha, at least someone you actually would want a relationship with anyway." he shakes his head. "My list is honestly just someone who isn't intimidated by Bakura." Yuugi raises a sardonic eyebrow.

"That's harder than you think! Even our friends, most of them are afraid of him, I mean it's basically down to Atem, Marik and you." He smiles a bit at that. Yuugi's dress-downs of Bakura after one of his numerous fuck-ups with Atem, truly are some of his fondest memories

"Yeah," Yuugi says, turning their hands over, "For me, probably the only person he couldn't say anything bad about would be ..." he trails off, looking up at him.

"What?!" Ryou says nervously, because..., because Yuugi is his friend, but there has always been something about him, when he gets that calculating gleam in his eyes that just _gets_ to Ryou.

"So, what we are both saying," Yuugi starts, moving even closer. Ryou suddenly realises how _close_ they are sitting, how their hands are still intertwined on Yuugi's lap. "Is that the only people our insane embodied ghosts would accept, are each other."

"I...I guess?" he stutters, because he's not _dumb_ , but something about the way Yuugi looks right now, is making it hard to think.

"You are single, I'm single," Yuugi continues leaning forward, trapping Ryou against the back of the couch. His eyes really are mesmerizing Ryou thinks randomly, "And you just said you find me attractive." he breathes.

Yuugi is looking at his lips now and he licks them, he can't help himself, his mouth is dry, because...Yuugi is so _close_ and looking at him like he's _hungry_ for it, for _him._

"So, what do you say, Ryou?" he's so close now, "You wanna go out?" he says in his normal voice, bright sunshine smile and impish gleam in his eyes and Ryou can't help the laugh it startles out of him.

"Oh my god, Yuugi, this is crazy," he stammers out, still laughing a bit, but he grabs a handful of that crazy hair, before he can move back, "But you know that I love crazy." He says against his lips, pulling them together.

It's weird for exactly one second, before it becomes wildly, amazingly hot, a moan working its way up his throat. Yuugi fairly _falls_ into him, biting a bit at his lips, settling into his lap fully.

"You _live_ with crazy." Yuugi continues after an eternity, chuckling it against Ryou's lips and he laughs back, he's _alive_ with laughter, because this is _insane_ , they've been friends for years now and he hadn't even _thought._...

"Oh my god, Bakura is _home_ , he could walk in on us at any point." Ryou whispers, laughter racking him, every nerve where Yuugi is touching him alive, his hands somehow under Yuugi's shirt, _clutching_.

"What is he going to do about it?" Yuugi throws back with a gleam in his eye, nipping at his collarbone, using both hands to hold his head back, so he can get better access, nibbling his neck.

He's not even trying to keep his voice down, even though he's aware of the thin walls, he doesn't _care_ , because of course Yuugi doesn't care, he's not _afraid,_ because why _would_ he be. Ryou can't control his shudder at that, at the way this thought turns him on.

"Oh god, this is the best, worst idea you've had in _years._ " he moans out, bucking his hips.

"I'm quite proud of it myself." Yuugi says against his neck and Ryou can't help but wrench him back, kissing him again.

They make out on the couch like teenagers for what feels like forever, until Ryou can't keep down the giggles, elated, drunk off what they are doing.

Yuugi settles back, manoeuvring them, so that they are cuddled against each other, an indulgent smile on his face.

"Hey." he says when Ryou's calmed down.

"Hey." Ryou says back, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

"Still wanna go on a date?" Yuugi asks and for a second there is a bit of uncertainty.

"Only if you put out that time." he fires back and is relieved to see that bit of uncertainty go, replaced with warmth and mischief and _something_ deep that he can't think about now, but will at some point ask him about.

"Excuse you, Atem always tells me that I deserve only the best, " he sniffs, "I require a bed a least."

"Wow, bringing out the demands early on." Ryou says mock-appalled, "I don't know if I'm ready to commit to someone _that_ high maintenance."

"I'm worth it." Yuugi replies, in what is clearly supposed to be seductive voice, but the exaggerated way he flutters his eye lashes ruins it somewhat.

"I can believe it." he says, leaning towards him, intent on stealing another kiss.

He falls forward instead, laughing hysterically at Bakura slamming out of his room, demanding:"What the _fuck_ is going on out here, some of us are trying to fucking work."

"Making YouTube videos is not a real job." they say in unison before breaking out in renewed laughter.

"Stop listening to the dickhead, Mini Pharaoh." Bakura growls back, barely sending them a glance on the way to the bathroom.

"Actually, you know what," Yuugi says, looking at Ryou so intently it stops the laughter and makes a warm shiver of anticipation go through his whole body, "I just might start to."


End file.
